


I'm Going to Miss You Buddy

by TheCreationMonster



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Insecure Lance, Insecurities, Langst, Other, Season 3 Spoilers, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 04:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11707008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCreationMonster/pseuds/TheCreationMonster
Summary: **SEASON 3 SPOILERS! READ AT OWN RISK**"This isn't a participation game. This is war. And you want your best soldiers on the front lines."Lance contemplates his place in the team.





	I'm Going to Miss You Buddy

**Author's Note:**

> Woooooow. It' been a while I last posted, but school has been hell. But I managed to catch season 3 and I HAD to write something for it.

**”If I had to lose Blue to anyone...**

He lost Blue.

**"... I'm glad it was you.**

He lost _Blue_. Lost her to Allura. He wanted to be mad. He wanted to rage against the loss of another loved one. But he couldn't. All Lance felt was resigned. Heartbroken. Empty. Red might have accepted him, sure, but it was supposed to be him and Blue until the end. So no matter how much it hurt, he knew he had to accept it. These feelings weren't anything new to him. He was used to being a replacement when good talent left, a placeholder until better talent came along.

**"Maybe Pidge was right. I am just a goofball."**

The words hurt. The knowledge of his placeholder status hurt worse. He had hoped that curse was broken when he found Blue. Had thought that he had found the one being in the universe that understood him. Lance thought he and Blue were special. They were the first to find each other, the first to connect, they were made for each other. Lance would have bet everything that he and Blue were for life. Apparently he guessed wrong.

**“Pink, huh? Not what I was expecting, but I like it!”**

_Liar_

Lance clenched his eyes tight and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes in attempt to fight back the tears. He wanted to like her paladin armor, but when she walked up after Blue refused to let him in, he knew. He felt it in the pit of this stomach that Allura was going to be Blue's new pilot. He wanted to be bitter. Wanted to hate Blue for abandoning him (because that's what it was, wasn't it?), bitter at Allura's pink paladin suit, the suit she was going to pilot Blue in. Bitter at her ability to connect and adapt to Blue so fluidly, but he couldn't. The connection between Blue and Allura was flawless. No matter how he looked at it, the two made a great pair. Allura could do more with Blue than he could ever being to dream of doing. She was the better choice for Blue. And Lance knew that. So no matter how bitter Lance wished he could be, he knew it was better for the team as a whole for Allura to be where she was, his own feelings be damned. Like he told Keith; **"This isn't a participation game. This is war. And you want your best soldiers on the front lines. So,...**

**"...maybe the best thing I can do for the team is step aside."**

He wasn't smart like Pidge or Hunk. He wasn't battle savvy like Keith or Shiro. And he already lost his Lion to Allura. Where was his place? Yea, he might have Red, but Shiro was back. And while Shiro wasn't the Black Lion's Paladin, it didn't mean he _couldn't_ be Red's paladin. The team may not have been able to test Shiro's compatibility before the mission to obtain the crystal, but that didn't mean they wouldn't test it when they had the chance. And if that happened, what then?

**"I guess I'm not even meant to be a paladin."**

That's what it boiled down to, isn't it. If Red does accept Shiro later on, what happens to Lance? What keeps them from riding themselves of him and his annoyances? Would they try to ship him back to Earth with his newfound uselessness? Back to Earth where, in reality, going back has the worst option for him. Once the government and the Garrison get word of his return, he'd be locked up, like they tried with Shiro, and interrogated, never getting to see his family. Or would he get lucky and get to stay on the ship? To keep his self-acknowledged title as a replacement and pilot Red or Blue when their new pilots couldn't fly them? He wanted his family safe. He wanted to stay with the team. He wanted to pilot Blue. By all the stars in the universe Lance just wanted to feel whole again.

**"Sometimes what we want isn't necessarily what we get.**

And the deafening silence in his head from Blue's absence wasn't going to let him forget that.


End file.
